Works Well with Others by Ross McCammon

Author:Ross McCammon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2015-09-15T04:00:00+00:00

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The first thing you want to establish at a work party is the thing we always want to establish when we are working: the freedom to leave pretty much whenever we want to.

Say hello to the people you need to say hello to as early as possible. Beeline to the boss, the host, and other people you know you want to speak with.

Position yourself near where the food is or near the room the food comes out of. Eat early and often. Chicken lollipop? Why, thank you. Miso-cod slider? Indeed. Short-rib-and-lobster-foam napoleon? I’ll take two.

Now you’re ready to drink. Because you’ve basically had dinner.

Drink immediately. Then nurse a second drink. Have a third or fourth drink if you must, but don’t think of the open bar as a buffet of alcohol. It’s a mess hall of alcohol. You go, you get your ration, you go back to the party. Otherwise, you’re seven glasses of brandy punch in and all of a sudden you’re wearing reindeer antlers around your chin, open-mouth winking everyone, doing the Electric Slide, and referring to other people as “some of that.”

Ration.

And then: Enjoy yourself.

And then: Leave.

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